Larry Jay: Retiring Well

Has Larry Jay retired well? You bet! After a busy and successful career, he sets and achieves goals that make each day of retirement a gift.

To Larry, retirement is not an end to a career. Rather, it is the beginning of a season of opportunity to enjoy the best of life.

In our nation where the work ethic remains strong, retirement is the coveted pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sadly, for some people it’s found to be fool’s gold. Some retirees complain of boredom, others go back to work and some sit idly in front of TV, waiting for time to pass. And far too many people die after only a few years of retirement.

Larry says that retiring well doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intentionality and planning.

There are five things, he continues, that people should consider about retirement.

The First Thing People Should Consider is Financial Impact. This is the loss of work income that most people think about and plan for. When you’re no longer working, it’s vital to have enough money to live on and to enjoy life.

“There are a lot of advisors to help with financial security and people know it’s important for retirement. But many people don’t consider the other important aspects as much as they need to,” Larry explains.

The Second is Health. Even if people have enough money and a good plan for retirement, everything falls apart without their health. This needs to be taken seriously. Larry points out that when he was feeling fatigued, he went to his doctor, underwent tests and was immediately scheduled for a heart procedure. He had two stents put in, saving his life. One of the two arteries was more than 90% blocked – and it was the widow maker. “If I would have had a heart attack, I would have died,” he says. “I gained a new appreciation for my health and consider it a priority to take care of my body.”

Third is Loss of Identity.  A lot of people think about their profession as who they are. “I’m a manager at Company A,” or “I’m a doctor of this or that.” So, when they retire, who are they?  Before that last day of work, they need to identify and fully understand who they are without a career.

Fourth is Loss of Purpose. What are people contributing to society when they’re no longer working? They should know the aim of their life, along with their dreams, goals and plans. They need to know why they get out of bed each day.

Fifth is Loss of Structure. Retirees no longer go to work from 8 to 5 every day. How are they going to fill their days? What will they be doing when? As the old adage goes, if you fail to plan you plan to fail.

In Larry’s case, he began planning more than 15 years before retirement. That’s more time than most people need to plan, but … it’s a Larry Jay thing, he admits with a laugh. The 15 years is not critical for everyone. Starting anytime is better than never starting.

When he began to plan for his retirement, Larry began journalling and wrote a gratitude prayer that he continues to read daily. In that prayer, he acknowledges that he is extremely blessed with good health, and with a loving wife and family who care about him. He is thankful for his ability to enjoy life and for material gifts. He tells himself, “Don’t take these blessings for granted.”

As a Christian, he believes that he was created for a purpose. He keeps scripture with that promise in his heart and mind.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11

Larry has always believed that things were possible and within reach. With a chuckle, he blames his can-do attitude on his parents. “I’m thankful that I was born healthy and into a loving family,” he explains. “I was an only child and my parents were extremely supportive. I was never told I couldn’t do something – so I believed I could do everything!”

When he was in high school in the little town of Everett, PA, he heard about the need for people to work in a new field called computer programming. So, in July of 1975 he moved to Pittsburgh and got a degree at the ICM (Institute of Computer Management) School of Business. Then he got his first job at Mellon Bank in Pittsburgh. It was the beginning of a career that led him to Mobay in 1985. Mobay changed its name to Miles and finally Bayer. Larry stayed there for 36 years. During that time, he earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees, enjoyed a fulfilling career and made lifelong friends.

That’s also where he met his rock in life, his wife Barbara. A second marriage for both of them, together they raised his children Rebecca and Ray. They adopted Maria from Russia and now also have a granddaughter, Madison.

Life has been good for Larry, and his relentless planning is his way to help it continue to be that way.

Part of his planning is to take stock of where he is in life and write a new list of goals each year. The goals may vary from general aims such as, “Do something nice for someone” and “Sweat and stretch” to the specific goal, “Lose 25 pounds.”

And, quite importantly, he has a Bucket List of things to accomplish in his retirement. And it’s some Bucket List!

“The Bucket List helps me to continually plan and make the most of my life because it gives me something to work towards and to have structure,” he explains.

“Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” – Proverbs 4:26

Larry has 50-60 items on his list, although the number is rather fluid. For example, getting a doctorate degree was once on his list. “What was I thinking? I’m not up for classes, tests and a thesis these days!” He’s accomplished about half of the items on his list.

His friend Matt Dugan calls Larry’s Bucket List insane. “It’s very specific and ambitious. I don’t know anyone else who has such a broad bucket list and a plan to achieve it.”

For Larry, it’s all about the plan. “Having a Bucket List provides me with the opportunity to think about what I can work towards and what means the most. I review it about every month. It helps me to decide what I want to do with this gift of life. It provides me with hope or excitement, not the same-old, same-old every day.”

One of the things he wanted to do was to be a background actor in a movie or television show. He found out he didn’t need to be in the screen actor’s guild unless he had a speaking part. So he tried out for some roles as an extra and found himself cast in two Pittsburgh-made series, Mayor of Kingstown and American Rust. “It was so cool!” he says.

For Mayor of Kingstown, he was a prisoner in a jailhouse riot scene, so he needed to look scruffy. He was told not to shave or trim his beard. With the magic of makeup and film, he looked like an inmate. The process was fascinating for him. And some of his closest friends didn’t recognize the character he’d become on the screen.

For American Rust, he was in a scene as a pedestrian walking behind Jeff Daniels.

“I really enjoyed the process. But to make it happen, I had to do the research, follow up and be dedicated to making it happen.” That’s the way things go, he knows.

Church is an important part of Larry’s life. During his busy career years, he didn’t seem to have time to be as involved as he wanted to be. But in retirement he added church activity to his Bucket List, and now he’s all in. He’s on the mission committee, the personnel committee and is the co-clerk of the leadership team. He says the work isn’t demanding, but it’s rewarding. And it helps to add purpose and structure to his days. He goes to regular meetings, develops deeper friendships within his church community, and helps with his church’s mission to serve God and others in the world.

The social component of life is important to him, too. He adds regularly scheduled get togethers with friends over breakfast or lunch to his Bucket List. He has at least seven groups he meets with, including friends and former colleagues, and some couples who are also friends with his wife Barbara.

And there’s more, like the little item of a hike on his Bucket List. Not any old hike, but the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim hike. Never mind that since the 19th century, 900 people have died doing it, averaging 12 deaths a year. The little matter of death through falling, dehydrating, starving or drowning aside, why not? As part of his research into preparation for the big hike, he talked to his friend Sitar, who had hiked the Grand Canyon before.

Sitar agreed to help Larry and the two trained for nine months, traversing the challenging Rachel Carson Trail. But nothing can truly prepare you for the 23.5 mile, 6,000-foot elevation change and 50-degree temperature change of the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim hike.

On the big day, Barbara and Sitar’s wife Uma dropped Larry, Sitar, and three of his relatives off on the north rim to begin their hike. Then the women gathered all their belongings and drove 200 miles to the south rim, prepared to meet the hikers coming out of the Grand Canyon.

Larry remembers it well. “We started at 2 a.m. on Sunday. We were dressed for the 45-degree weather and carried 25 pounds, with all our food and water, on our backs. We walked down, down, down in the pitch black. On one side was the rock of the Grand Canyon, like an endless wall. On the other side was a 4,000-foot drop. The path was wide enough for two people to cross, and occasionally someone was going up as we went down.”

It took only two hours for him to realize he was in over his head.

“But I kept going and made it to the first rest stop in about four hours. It was gorgeous!” They continued, getting to the canyon floor at 11:15 a.m. By then, they were shedding layers in the 95- degree heat. They had a lemonade at the famed Phantom Ranch and then crossed over the Colorado River on a foot bridge.

Even though he thought he trained well, Larry learned that there is no way to really prepare your body for the repetitive motion of walking continuously down. His muscles were cramped, and each step was agony. But he had to continue and start walking up the canyon on the other side. They reached the Indian Gardens rest stop about 4 p.m. Larry was struggling and Sitar stayed with him at a very slow pace, while the other three in their group went ahead. A park ranger spotted Larry, who was pale and weak by that time, and asked if he needed help. While there were five more miles to go. Larry knew that the alternative to walking out was to be life flighted and the cost would be almost $5,000. Feeling he was close to his goal, he continued the trek.

It took him five hours to hike those last five miles. “That’s all I could muster,” he remembers. “I started in the dark and finished in the dark, coming out at 7 p.m.” Barbara, whose support Larry says was vital to the trip, was delighted to see him. He had been out of cell phone coverage for most of the hike.

Larry now has a deep respect for the enormity and grandeur of the Grand Canyon.

“It’s one thing to see it from the top, looking down, but completely another from the bottom looking up. God’s awesome creation is breathtaking.”

He checked the hike off his Bucket List. Next, he focused on a cross-country drive. He and Barbara had a family vacation in Las Vegas. Rather than fly to their destination, they decided to drive a week out and then a week to drive back, following a different route. They covered 5,000 miles in 15 states in 26 days. High points included the St. Louis arch, Magnolia Market in Waco, and the standing on the corner in the tiny town of Winslow, Arizona that the Eagles made famous.

Travel ranks high on his Bucket List, and has led he and Barbara to spectacular vacations, including an Alaskan cruise, with one week on ship and another on land. Recently, they took a 16-day cruise to Hawaii to tour four islands. Who doesn’t want to see the glistening site of Glacier Bay, hike on Mt. McKinley, take the USS Arizona memorial tour at Pearl Harbor and see an active volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii? That, says many of the Jays’ friends, is living well.

Barbara has been a very willing and happy participant in Larry’s grand plan of retiring well. She says, “Larry’s Bucket list is never boring and I get to go along for the ride. Whatever he decides to do, he does. And those things tend to be creative. There’s never a boring moment with Larry!”

Larry uses his Bucket List as a way to be healthy. “Left to my own devices, I probably wouldn’t exercise and run. But when I have a goal I plan, train and complete it.”  With a history of running marathons and half marathons in the past, he has only recently gotten back into running. He has added running a mile in every state to his Bucket List. So far, he has run in 22 states, with bonus miles in two Canadian provinces and Mexico. More states and miles will come, he knows!

Larry also plans on running some short races, 5Ks and 10Ks, to eventually build up to the Dopey Challenge in Disney. The Dopey Challenge means running a series of races in four days – a 5K, 10K, half marathon, and then a full marathon. He knows this is a lot for a 67-year-old man, so he’s giving himself three years to train for it.

Some additional completed items on his Bucket List include getting a tattoo and seeing a PGA golf tournament. He added being a mall Santa, but hasn’t done it yet. Go figure, he says with a laugh, he wasn’t chubby enough!

Some other items not yet completed on his list: driving a race car; riding in a hot air balloon; and writing a children’s book about the adoption of Maria.

God willing, Larry plans on checking off many more items on his Bucket List in the coming years.

After all, another item on Larry’s Bucket List is to live to be 100.

He’s working on that one every day. And as he does it, he creatively models to others how to live and retire well.

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